Today is International Talk Like a Pirate Day.  Unlike many national days the source of this one is well known.  It was founded by John Baur and Mark Summers (aka Ol’ Chumbucket and Cap’n Slappy) in 1995.  Click here for the entire story!  In theory you are supposed to speak pirate slang with lots of Aaar’s and Matey’s thrown in for effect.  In honor of the day I will tell my favorite pirate joke.

A pirate walked into a bar, like the little fellow below with an eyepatch, hook for a hand and wooden stump for a leg.  The bartender commented on what an interesting life the pirate must have led and asked what brought him the wooden stump.  (And here you have to growl like a Pirate for the response.)

“Aye,” said the Pirate. “I was captured by another Pirate band that made me walk the plank and as I sunk to Davey Jone’s locker a shark bit off my leg.  I was able to kick the shark away with me good leg and swam to a deserted island.  I fitted out a wooden replacement and have worn it ever since.”

“Wow,” said the bartender.  “What about the hook?”

“Aye,” replied the Pirate.  “While doing battle on board a ship’s deck a sailor lopped off my hand at the wrist.  I didn’t slow down a bit, grabbed my sword with my other hand and ran him through.  I put together a hook to replace my hand and have worn it ever since.”

“Amazing,” said the bartender.  “Tell me about the eye patch.”

“Aye,” replied the Pirate.  “A seagull pooped in me eye.”  The bartender looked at him quizzically.  “Well, it was me first week with the hook.”

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TOMORROW: Edward Albee at Sotheby’s