This will not take long. I have been asked by my editor to comment on and celebrate National Punch Day. Here goes.

So, let’s get ready to celebrate – wait a minute, I am a lifelong pacifist. Why in the world would I celebrate the violence in – I mean, I know that even a boxer needs to make a living, but really, a national day to take a beating?

My mistake. My editor has corrected me and this is NOT what National punch day celebrates. Sorry about that, let me correct myself.

Where would we be without a punch? However would we ever complete our school project? I remember a particular train conductor who would create a work of art with my train ticket. He could – wait a moment. Who uses paper tickets anymore on the train? If he uses that punch on my iPhone ticket someone’s going to get punched! What in the world – oh wait a moment.

Ooooh. My editor meant that liquid punch should be celebrated. How should I know that? This silly language. I’m going to need a drink to do with this, Happy Punch Day and slide me a drink for me to sample. Or swig.