Kid-Napping and my ordeal as a hostage

Last week I was held hostage by two small terrorists.  They were 5 and 7 years old and claimed to be Pamela’s grandchildren, Emma and Savannah.  They moved too fast and too often for that to be confirmed.  But every aspect of my life was controlled by them for those days they were in New York, which I am pretty sure qualifies as kidnapping, though more napping by these kids would have been welcome.  They apparently have miniature nuclear energy generators imbedded inside them (seemingly fed by copious amounts of sugar) which never stopped.

I was forced to guide them to the Central Park Carousel, The Disney Store, Victorian Gardens Amusement Park, Dylan’s Candy Bar, The Freedom Tower Observation Deck, The Times Square M&M Store, The American Museum of Natural History and so much more.  Surprisingly they were most captivated by the playground across the street with the water spray feature where I was drafted into forced labor to swing them higher than they ever went before.  Luckily the weather was quite nice for their visit.

It was all capped off by a performance of an off-Broadway show I would have never chosen independently called the Gazillion Bubble Show.  There were easily a gazillion bubbles and it was a show that captivated not only Emma and Savannah, but especially their grandmother.  Worth the visit, but only if you bring some small children.  If necessary, adopt one or two, see the show and abandon them in the New World Stages plaza after enjoying the performance.  That would be less weird than going to see the show without a kid or two in tow.  (OK, relax, as the tiny terrorists love to say “JK” which apparently means “Just Kidding” in their language.)

Not only did they escape with a carload of souvenirs but also lots of memories for these miniature fiends and a few for us (while taking one of their hands to guide them across the street one smiled up at me and informed me “my hands are sticky cause I had gum.”  Good to know.)

2017 girls visit HSNLGC_1_0824130832930_P2

As always you can find more at and on Twitter @walterthinnes

TOMORROW: Basil Pesto

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