Today is National Toasted Marshmallow Day.  I suppose it is fitting as we come to the end of the summer camping season.  Some people prefer to use Toasted Marshmallows as only a component in something else like S’mores.  Me?  I’m a purist and love Toasted Marshmallows for their own sake.  Their own perfectly melty, crusty, delicious selves.  And as a purist I am superior to all the other “combiners” as we call them.

I will demonstrate the purist aesthetics by preparing the perfect Toasted Marshmallow for you, you lucky person.  I have stolen a metal bucket from the maintenance staff in my apartment building in New York City.  I have lit a small set of briquets in the bucket and opened a window to get some of the smoke out.  Still a little cloudy here in the apartment but I brilliantly have removed the battery from the smoke alarm.  We purists are also plenty smart.

The briquets are now just glowing red but my eyes are a bit watery.  I have unbent a wire coat hanger (the traditional method) and threaded a couple of marshmallows on the end.  The trick is to hold the marshmallows close but not (cough, cough) too close to the glowing embers.  As the outside chars to a golden brown the inside is melting to delicious goodness.  Now straight to the mouth, no graham crackers needed.  Ooh, ouch, oh.  Too soon.  The woof of my mouff is burning.  Ow.  Ow.  Need watuh.  Help pleathe.  Ow.  Will get help.  Oops, kicked ovuh dah bucket.  Curtains afwame.  Gotta go.  Don’t try this at home, kids.  No seriously, never listen to me again!

As always you can find more at http://www.walterthinnes.com and on Twitter @walterthinnes

NEXT: A very special day for a very special someone!